To whack, or not to whack

Saudi Arabia has decided to use firing squads in future executions for murderers, rapists and other miscreants.

The reason is simple. There are not enough swordsmen available to whack off the heads of criminals, which is how capital punishment has been done in the past. With too few swordsmen to travel from place to place, the remaining swordsmen have apparently been tardy in arriving to their next whack job. In addition to a death fetish, execution attendees apparently insist on punctuality in their executioners.

 

According to the BBC, whacking by sword is an art of sorts, and takes practice, if not lessons. This is not a job for everyone.

I don’t know if this is a skill that community colleges might teach, but creating more swordsmen might help tighten down the unemployment rates in the U.S., if Saudis would accept a Yankee whacker. I realize Americans would prefer performing on firing squads, but hefting a sword across a neck would probably have some broad appeal.

 

Just a thought.

 

John of Olive?

Jon Stewart has a lot of nerve. He addicts people to the Daily Show then he bolts. What gall! How dare he?

 In his place will be that Brit pistolero, John of Olive. How dare they?

I don’t think I can get through the next several months without some meds. Jon S. makes the daily news palatable, if not understandable. And then there is the proper skewering. He is a master.

I will cope with John of Olive as a sub, but I will treat him as we do all subs, with spitballs and indelicate yammering from the back of the room. Does this guy even have his green card? Wot! an illegal limey on the telly for the next several fortnights! Oh dear, as John of Olive is fond of saying.

Well OK, good luck to one and all. To Brave Jon for venturing out beyond the land of comfort to slay a new dragon and to Brave John, one of the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. Please pay your taxes. The country needs the dough.

 

Long sentence to Shortz

I have decided that Will Shortz, the alleged editor of the NY Times puzzles, is a terrorist who revels in torture.

 Having done his puzzles, I am stuck on Mondays. Monday puzzles are easier than puzzles presented on Tuesdays and they get more difficult as the week goes on. I don’t get past Monday. I don’t even look at Sunday puzzles.

Torture is in the eye of the beholder and in my eye, Shortz belongs in Guantanomo, only to be taken in the dead of night to a dismal place in Texas or somewhere equally terrible. Try to place rendition in a crossword, as in a six-letter word that means deserves rendition __ Shortz.

My sister does the puzzles in pen. Or so she says. I am at the point where I intend to request evidence. No one can do these puzzles. No one. I am miserable.