When to make stuff up

Our mothers taught us not to lie. So fantasy is a fine alternative, which hurts no one.

    I have a relative that tells anyone who will listen that he used to pitch so hard he could throw a strawberry through a locomotive. Makes him feel good.

    I believe it is healthy to tell people about personal qualities or to imagine skills if the notion makes you feel good.

    Yet, if we can’t brag about ourselves, who will? If you don’t let others know, they may never find out. A bit of exaggeration doesn’t hurt if it makes you feel good. You might be surprised to learn that among my many skills is an ability to detect by taste. I have a sort of CSI mouth.

     For example, I always taste the pool water for pee. I do not allow pee in my pool, so I was worked up the other day when I detected some. It turned out to be ant pee, but still …

    I claim this as proof that I have a sense that far exceeds the usual human dimension. My ability is superhuman. I wonder what kind of superhero costume I should wear.

   Sense of taste is not my only skill. I can detect most BS when I see, hear or smell it. I think there is a lot of it around these days, but it has always been around.

    The other day I was bemoaning the invented news stories we see every day on alleged news channels. Calling something a scandal does not make it so. I thought there is a lot of made up fantasy around these days. But it has always been so and a great deal of soap has been sold as a result. God Bless American capitalism, which sometimes stinks up a room.

   People were able to see, taste and smell Joe McCarthy’s BS when he held hearings to out Communists in our country, a forum that was really about elevating Joe M. to sainted status. We could see through his BS, yet he was so scary he got away with it for years.       

    Nowadays, even shame does little to encourage liars and idiots to calm the hell down and just tell the truth. If people truly believed half the hype they spew as absolute truth they ought to seek counseling. Also, their mothers should wash out their mouths. They need less harmful skills concerning fabrication.

    If you want to make believe to survive, I get that. The United Nations reports that 70 percent of Afghanis suffer from mental illnesses that run the gamut from depression to schizophrenia. There are only six psychiatrists for the whole country. The only alternative to the absence of meds or counseling in Afghanistan would be a good supply of make believe as a coping mechanism.

    As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, whatever fantasies you require to get through the night is OK by me. Lying that hurts others is vile and evil, especially if it is only used to advance one’s station in life. Earn a mother’s respect. Try learning to distinguish ant pee in a pool. That works for me.